In Chevrolet parlance, the “Beauville” goes back to 1954, originally used to denote a base station wagon perfect for paupers and misers. Thanks to Wikipedia for some details. By the time this 1982 Chevrolet Beauville in Joppa, Maryland came along, Chevy had flipped the storyline, giving France the proper respect by making Beauville the fanciest van in the lineup. Oui oui! One look at the apartment-sized box on wheels brings to mind the crooked byways and narrow streets of France, or maybe not!  At any rate, this shiny throwback to the Reagan era can be yours with a high bid here on eBay, where at least 14 suitors have shown interest, to the tune of over $2500 (plus $499 processing fee).

Is that burled walnut? So fancy! I drove the last of these, a 1996 Beauville, all over Pennsylvania for work, and it looked mostly the same as what you see here. I remember dumping a giant orange pop all over the new carpet seconds after leaving McDonalds, thanks to that useless shallow cup holder. I found a conversion van company add-on that made the tray deeper and more usable. It seems unforgivable that Chevrolet punished decades of owners with that ridiculous design.

Rust bubbles mar the steel wheels and shiny paint in close-up pictures, but overall this van looks great. That $4 can of chrome paint applied to the rear step bumper was worth every penny. Tinted windows will have mothers clutching their little ones every time you park near a sidewalk.

The second row of individual chairs keep talking heads out of your rear-view mirror while letting your Golden Retriever roam to whoever seems most likely to drop a French fry. Upholstery and carpet have some stories to tell, but I’ve seen eight-year-old minivans in more dire shape. Rear air conditioning helps dull the screams of uncomfortable toddlers through the dual blessings of cold air and fan noise.

Here’s where the magic happens, if you consider hauling suitcases and milk crates magical.

Somewhere in there is a 5.0L (302 305 cid) V8 engine. Of the 142-odd high-resolution pictures, no one dared remove the engine cover for a good look, but the Beauville is said to “run and drive,” so there you have it. A new-ish brake master cylinder cover brings the bling to an otherwise original-looking service area. What’s more ironic, giving this American classic a French name or the fact that the brand called the “Heartbeat of America” has a French name (Chevrolet) to begin with? How does this Beaville stack up against today’s full-sized family haulers?