A potato chip company has to really go out of its way to make its product taste awful. I mean, how hard is it to mess up a fried potato with salt and oil? Pretty darn difficult, if you ask me, which is why this ranking was a struggle bus for my palate and its ability to decipher the best of the best.
I rounded up 11 of the most popular bags you can find with three criteria:
- It couldn’t have a flavor. Kettle-cooked? A-OK. Cool ranch? Hard no. This was a battle of the potato-based classics. (Because, let’s face it, Doritos would be sitting pretty in first place if I had it my way.)
- It had to be widely available. I’m sure there are some Idaho-based businesses doing great things with their spuds, but I only included brands that were easily shoppable for everyone. You’re welcome.
- It had to be a standard potato chip. I didn’t get into Ruffles or hyperbolic paraboloid-shaped (otherwise known as Pringles, for you common folk) territory. Those are for another taste test.
And here are the official results, as tabulated and validated by the folks at Ernst & Young (kidding). If only you could hear my giant exhale as I present this list, because, even now, I’m starting to second-guess the outcome as I read through it again. (Insert grimacing emoji.)
11. Lay’s Kettle Cooked Original Potato Chips
I am not entirely sure how this was ranked No. 1 by the Washington Post, seeing as I found this chip to be the most bland of the bunch. There were no redeeming qualities other than its hardy crunch (which was fantastic!). Let me reiterate by saying that not a single chip from this assortment was “awful” and I’d happily house an entire bag of these bad boys in one sitting, but it was the one I was least excited about. And they needed more salt — a deal breaker.
10. 365 Whole Foods Market Organic Sea Salt Potato Chips
Blame it on Bezos. These were a strong “meh” and they certainly presented as healthy with an off-putting stale aftertaste. I also didn’t like the somewhat cardboard-esque texture, which also resulted in a lack of crunch and size consistency. I suppose these are a good option for those who are more mindful of their diets, but I’m going to need to dunk these in a French onion dip or queso if I’m caving in to a carb craving.
9. Good Health Avocado Oil Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
I appreciated the brand’s commitment to using avocado oil instead of canola, but it definitely tasted like these were made in “good health.” And when I have a hankering for binging on a Friday night while watching Netflix and crying about not having a boyfriend, health does not take priority. It does taste potatoey, though, and the texture was a welcome and unexpected hybrid between a regular chip and a kettle-cooked one. But is avocado even trendy anymore? Asking for, uh, a friend.
8. Utz Original Potato Chips
Here is where I’m going to receive the most hate because Utz is a beloved brand with diehard fans. But please don’t come to my doorstep with torches when I say that these were just OK for me. I’ll admit that the girl on the bag is adorable and the chip is sturdy enough to stand up to most dips, but it genuinely tasted more like a crumbly cracker than a chip. They also made my mouth a bit dry. I’d be curious to see how they fare when coating chicken breast to make fingers or nuggets, so stand by as I embark on this culinary endeavor.
7. Wise Golden Original Potato Chips
Investing in Wise is a wise choice, but maybe not your best one. While the flavor was superior to most (super potato-forward and an ideal amount of oil and salt), the texture and size inconsistencies were what really threw me. It was as if I got leftover potato slices that happened to be turned into chips (which, ironically, is how Earl Wise kind of created his multi-million dollar company to begin with: by using extra potatoes).
6. Dirty Sea Salted Potato Chips
I really dug the air bubbles that made them taste and feel more small-batch and artisanal, but these were oilier than my forehead. And I’m a third-generation Sicilian if that helps to put things in perspective. The flavor was there, the crunch was delightful, but it’s not a bag you’re going to want to finish in one sitting (unless nausea is your thing, in which case, have a ball!).
5. Great Value Original Potato Chips
If you’re in a pinch and want to save money, Walmart’s take on the original potato chip is surprisingly a great buy. Sure, it may be Lay’s less attractive cousin, but it maintains the same greasiness, soft texture and sodium punch as its predecessor. My only gripe was that these weren’t as sturdy and, as a result, quite cumbersome to pick up and scoop into my mouth. Otherwise, they’re let’s-stay-in-and-have-a-movie-night-and-avoid-all-humans-approved.
4. Late July Organic Simple as Sea Salt Potato Chips
These were, by far, the saltiest of the bunch, which could be quite off-putting for the average consumer. But I enjoyed them tremendously, which could just be a reflection of my salty personality. Either way, they were absolutely the surprise hit of the lot (there is always one each week) and I can’t wait to buy them again soon (along with a case of high-quality H2O, because I’m going to need it).
3. Cape Cod Original Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
Oh, Cape Cod. How I adore thee. If you want no-frills, rustic-style goodness, look no further. Heavy on flavor, crunch and even flecks of skin (which added another element of taste and texture), these were the ones that paid homage to the humble potato in its purest form. In fact, they may even be a bit too real for many Americans who are used to snacks that are chock-full of preservatives and artificial ingredients.
2. Lay’s Classic Potato Chips
Come through, grease bomb. Light, airy, salty and just straight-up addictive, it’s one of those nibbles where you look down after 10 minutes and then realize why your doctor has warned you about high cholesterol during every annual physical. They’re simply irresistible and obviously tap into the element of nostalgia, which also makes them comforting. Consider these the gold standard, which is why the bag is yellow.
1. Kettle Sea Salt Potato Chips
This was the bag that I could not put down. Every contender had a redeeming quality, but Kettle’s chip was absolutely the most well-balanced of the group, making it my all-time favorite and a well-deserved gold star winner. Its crunch was powerful, but not offensive, its salt was potent, but not abrasive, and while I still resent the company for discontinuing its Spicy Thai flavor (literally the best chip I’ve ever had), I’ve got to give credit where credit is due. So good on you, Kettle. I’ll see you next week during my next grocery store run.